Akatsuki's Break
by iSweets
Summary: An Akatsuki story where they go on a holiday in Hawaii. Featuring the hotties Deidara, Itachi and Hidan and friends. NO YAOI! Oh, and rated T for Hidan's mouth. Or should it be M? I suck at summaries. R&R and I'll love you. :
1. The Planning

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Akatsuki from Naruto. D: it will be such an awesome thing if i were to own them, though. They're such hotties! xD**

**What inspired this was Deidara's, Hidan's, Itachi's and the rest of Akatsuki's never-ending hotness. :D**

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_"All you need is just to relax, Pein. Bring us to the beach at Hawaii or something! Yeah, everybody's really pissed since we got all the Jinchuurikis, except for the Kyuubi and the Eight-tails, but we need a break, honestly! You need to give us one..." _Konan's complaining voice rang in Pein's head as he was pacing from left to right and back again thinking.

"Aw, the hell, why not?" Pein said to himself as he threw his hands and went outside.

_"But I don't know how they'll react... what if it's just what Konan wants, and they don't want anything...?" _Pein thought and hesitation started to overcome his confidence.

In the end he decided to give the Akatsuki a _break_ and booked nine rooms at a five-star hotel at Hawaii. **( A/N: Hawaii 'cause my cousin went there and said it was effing awesome ;D )**

The next day Pein told all of the Akatsuki to be at the living room as he had an announcement to make at 3 'o' clock. At that time he went to the living room and saw that everybody was carrying a bored expression. Even Hidan, and that's saying something. Everybody except for Konan was there.

"So what the fuck is going on, Leader?" Hidan just had to ask roughly.

"Er.." Pein became nervous. "We're going on a holiday, at um ... Haw-"

"A HOLIDAY?? No friggin' way! I don't wanna go on a freakin' holiday! That kinda of dipshit is against Jashinism!" Hidan shouted.

"Shut up, Hidan... this holiday might be giving us more money." Kakuzu said, holding Hidan from bashing Pein.

"How in the hell can you be on holiday and earn money at the same time??" Kisame asked Kakuzu.

Kakuzu let go of Hidan and faced the blue-coloured shark. Before he could say anything, Pein interrupted.

"He's got a point, Kakuzu. And er... we're using your money to pay the expanses on this holiday." Pein said.

"WHAT THE EFF! NO WAY!! I'm with Hidan on this one. No way! There is just no freaking way I'm gonna pay for this stupid holiday!!" Kakuzu threw his hands and went to Hidan side. Hidan smirked.

"But I wanna go on a holiday!!!" Tobi suddenly whined.

"What? You orange bitch, why the fuck would you wanna go on a holiday??" Hidan said.

"'Cause it sounds so FUUUN~~!! and i think i can show-off my good-boy-ness." Tobi beamed, ignoring the names Hidan called him.

"Yeah, I also could use a break, un." Deidara found his voice and spoke up.

"You really wanna go, Deidara?" Sasori asked him.

"Yep, I wanna go to Hawaii, un." Deidara replied.

"Why Hawaii, Deidara-chaan? Wanna freakin' mate with Sasori?? Or any of your friggin' hands??" Hidan teased, making childish faces.

A vein popped in Deidara's head. "You shut up, hmm! I saw you smirk when your Kakuzu-chan was on your side!! Why, happy to get the house all to yourselves and make some love???"

"Why you, bitch-" Hidan started.

"Settle down, everybody." Pein said as Sasori restrained Deidara who looked as if he wanted to pound the immortal potty mouth while Kakuzu restrained the silver-haired Jashinist who wanted to bash the tongues out of the blondie's hands.

"So are we going, Leader-sama?" Itachi, who kept quiet since just now, asked the leader.

"Of course we are." Pein replied.

Itachi grunted softly.

"So we're going to Hawaii-" "OH YEAH, UN!" "-and I already booked nine rooms." Pein said, glaring at Deidara.

"Nine?" Zetsu finally spoke up. _**"Why Nine... Is Konan following us or not..."**_

Pein started to blush furiously.

"Leader-sama?? Why is your face red?? Leader-sama?? Senpai!! Help Leader-sama!!" Tobi panicked and ran around, much to everyone's - especially Hidan's - annoyance.

"Shut up, Tobi, un." Deidara rolled his eyes. "He's just blushing 'cause he wants to share a room with Konan."

Everybody started to snicker.

"Sh-Shut up!" Pein pointed an accusing finger at Deidara.

Deidara just gave a **( A/N: VERY HOT! ) **smirk.

Itachi looked at Kisame for no apparent reason and then looked back at Pein.

"So... yeah, we're going tomorrow." Pein declared, pink patches still visible on his face. Luckily for him Konan wasn't there.

"Why Tomorrow?" Zetsu said. _**"Yeah, tomorrow's kinda early, don't you think?"**_

"'Cause tomorrow's a Thursday, and we're spending four nights at Hawaii." Pein replied.

"So we're going home on Monday, un?" Deidara asked. Pein nodded.

"I still am against this holiday thing! Unless you pay using someone else's money." Kakuzu folded his arms across his chest childishly.

"Fine, whatever... I'll use _my_ money." Pein rolled his eyes.

Kisame went beside Pein and whispered into his ear, "we're still using Kakuzu's money, right?"

"Hell, yes." Pein replied and dismissed everyone to pack their stuff for the trip tomorrow.

---

**So whatdya think? I'm gonna continue this ASAP! (:**


	2. Things to Pack and Nosebleeding

**Already with chapter 2. I just wanna finish this story as soon as possible~!! btw, thanks for the reviews~!! i appreciate them a lot. (:**

**Disclaimer: I wish I'd own Naruto and all of the Akatsuki members. But sadly I don't.**

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THE PACKING PART-

Itachi -

_"Well, this is sudden..." _Itachi thought, just grabbing all his red-cloud-emblazoned-on-black cloaks and some shirts and pants. _"Ah, well... I could use a break from thinking about my dearest brother and the Kyuubi...." _**( A/N: SPOILER! Itachi loves Sasugay. He's the best brother. Ever. I love him. He's hot. Not Sasugay, Itachi! XD )** "Great... now what should I bring, ey?" Itachi said to himself. He brought his painkillers and eye treatment in case he overused his Mangekyou Sharingan. _"What else... AH YES!" _Itachi thought and dug into his shirt drawer. After a few seconds of shoving shirts here and there, his hand emerged from the drawer, holding onto a shirt with a yellow and orange Hawaiian pattern. "I wonder what they all will say when I wear this to the airport tomorrow..." he said to himself.

Kisame -

_"I don't think I need to bring these swimming trunks, but wouldn't it be weird if everybody were to see what's below there instead of a dick?" _Kisame thought as he just took two black and blue swimming trunks he bought and threw them into his bag. He brought his rubber duckies and shark plushies in another bag so the rest of the Akatsuki won't see them. As he threw in more of the random stuff he felt needed into his bag, his mind began to look for a certain shirt. "Aha! I found it! This will sure make me blend in Hawaii despite my skin colour... thank you Itachi!" Kisame grinned as he held up a white and blue abstract-patterned shirt. "Although I think Hidan will laugh his ass off at me..."

Deidara -

Deidara took out his clay collection from a box under his drawer. "Aw, crap... un." Deidara said, looking at the small amount of clay in the box. _"Maybe I won't need more clay..."_ he thought. Shoving the box into his bag, **( A/N: Where the hell do these hot Akatsuki members get the bags~??! xP ) **he looked out for a shirt to wear as he just got out from the shower in his room. Grabbing the shirt he used to always wear when he was a terrorist bomber for hire, he put it on and looked around his dump of a room to put things into his bag. Deidara took two Akatsuki cloaks and pushed them into the bag. He found a pair of swimming trunks under his bed and after blowing off the dust off it, he threw it into his bag. When he wanted to take one step, he tripped and saw something that caught his eye. _"What the hell? What's this...?" _A blue and yellow Hawaiian shirt was lying in front of his eyes. Deidara stood up and held the shirt in front of him. "When the hell did I have this?" Deidara pondered out loud. "Aw, the hell... un." he threw it on the bed so he'll wear it to the airport tomorrow.

Sasori -

Looking at the never ending beauty of his artistic puppets, Sasori sighed and stripped from his cloak, leaving only his baggy pants on. Sasori took three small puppets from his artistic collection and placed them into a small bag then throwing the brown canvas bag into his holiday bag. _"Why did I even bother following..." _Sasori thought. He opened his wardrobe drawer and started to throw in random clothing that his hand manages to grab. When Sasori felt he was done, he zipped up the bag and left it in front of the door of his room. Wearing a plain gray shirt, he lied down on his bed and looked up at his puppets._"What should I wear tomorrow..." _A thought suddenly occurred. _"Surely not the Akatsuki cloak... I threw in all four of them into the bag, and it'll be so troublesome to take it all out... And obviously the others wouldn't wear the cloaks to the airport. That's just completely retarded."_ Sasori stood up and opened his drawer, looking for a suitable shirt for him to wear to the airport. _"Sigh... I guess this'll have to do. And I don't really give a damn if Hidan laughs his arse off, right?" _Sasori took out the red and white Hawaiian shirt from his drawer to be placed on his bed for him to wear to the airport tomorrow.

Tobi -

"Sweets! Sweets! And more sweets~!" Tobi threw in all types of candy into his swirl patterned bag. Tobi took off his mask and looked into the mirror. **I AM MADARA UCHIHA, goddammit! Wear the mask to the airport tomorrow... only Zetsu-san, Pein and uchiha itachi knows... don't let Deidara-senpai know... MY TRUE IDENTITY!!! **Tobi put his mask back on and began to fill another bag with clothes, leaving a plain white shirt for him to wear tomorrow.

Zetsu -

No Way. _**Yes. You have to. **_You're not in charge of this body! _**You have to. I don't care. Just do it. **_But - _**DO IT~! **_Okay... I'm done, now. Happy? _**Was that too hard? I just told you to put on a normal shirt and cover the aloe stuff by squishing it. Does it hurt, NO! Now get our asses to the drawer. **_I hate you, yknow that? _**I am YOU, dumbass. **_Whatever, I pick that shirt. Dyou like it? Wait, what the hell? Why am I asking _your_ opinion... I can choose myself. _**Like hell, you will. Okay, fine, that shirt's nice. But what're we wearing tomorrow? **_A hawaiian shirt. Pein told everyone to wear that. _**Why? **_Why should I know? Okay... That abstract one is nice. _**ZOMG! It is nice. Good eye! **_Thanks. That's a start. _**I like the green and black bag you stole from the girl I ate this afternoon. **_Who knew it would come in handy for this! I just thought it was cool, yknow? _**Whatever. Is that all, now? **_Yeah. Let's go now. _**Okay...**_

Hidan -

"PFFFFFT~! Fuck that stupid Leader and his bitchy minions... What with all those frigs and dipshits... Friggin' holiday plan, why do holidays freakin' exist anyway... stupid friggin' Hawaii..." Hidan ranted and ranted as he picked up Jashinism books and rosaries and threw them violently into a really big and patched up rag for a bag. "And fuck that Leader for asking us to wear stupid coloured shirts that brings out the dipshits from us..." Hidan took out random clothing and threw them inside his bag. He then took a white and red Hawaiian shirt and threw it on the drawer. As he went under his covers, he was still ranting and swearing.

Kakuzu, Pein and Konan -

**( A/N: you don't wanna know. boring~!! )**

---

The next day ...

"Alright, everybody!" Pein announced. "We're off!" The doors closed and Kakuzu screamed, "LEADER-TEME!!! WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY~~~~~??!?!!!??!!?!" in front of all the passengers, including the young children with innocent ears. "WOO~! GO KAKUZU!" Hidan supported as parents covered their children's ears for their safety. Luckily for the Akatsuki, Sasori used chakra strings to shut kakuzu up, and Pein used two of his bodies to restrain Hidan. An addition to the luck, nobody complained, either they were too scared of them, or they were too scared to move. Only Deidara and Itachi _tried _to make a good impression, the rest, surprisingly including Tobi, made a fool of themselves.

At the airport ( two hours earlier... )

"BWAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA~~" everybody, including Itachi and Sasori, laughed insanely at Hidan. Zetsu was the only one who restrained, but people could hear him snickering. Hidan looked as if he could blow up any moment, girls were staring at him, scared, and guys just wanted to stay away. Hidan went into a fit of swearing.

As Hidan stretched, showing off his muscles, after forty-five minutes of cooling down, a few girls got nosebleeds from his hotness.

Pein panicked for them and Konan got jealous.

Hidan couldn't careless for the nosebleeding girls and instead was muttering swear words.

Kakuzu was yet again reading a magazine written by Bill Gates, titled, "Making Fast Money"

Deidara was blowing off chairs and scattering all his explosive art around the airport, secretly so Sasori wouldn't notice.

Sasori was wiping off the dust from his toy puppets, with Tobi staring at the toys, having an obvious "I WANNA PLAY WITH THEM!" look in his eyes.

Itachi was aiding his eyes with the help of Kisame.

Zetsu was fighting with his other personality.

Suddenly one of Deidara's explosive art set off near Sasori and Deidara panicked. _"Oh, crap... Sasori no danna's gonna freak!" _he thought.

"Deidara, don't use your stupid art!" Sasori let go of his puppets and quick as a flash, Tobi snatched them from the floor and ran towards somewhere he can be alone. Sasori took no notice of this, well, he did, but he didn't give a damn, he knew Tobi would want to take it so he switched it with a fake one in the speed of light.

Sasori attached chakra strings onto Deidara'a explosive art, planning to throw the away, but Deidara wanted to have fun and made his art let go of the chakra strings and walk on them, towards the user. "KATSU!"

Sasori's clothes exploded and five girls recieved nosebleeds staring at Sasori's body.

"DEIDARA!! YOU ARE GONNA DIE!" Sasori screamed, taking out his _real_ Hawaiian shirt, since he too replaced it with a fake one. He's damn fast. **( A/N: Im not a fangirl of Sasori, I love Deidara, but he's hot. xD and he's not that fast, it's a trait i made up. :D )**

"Sorry, Sasori no danna~! Couldn't help it!" Deidara gave his partner a cheeky grin, a girl sitting beside him on the seats blushed looking at the smile.

"Shut up, people, our plane has arrived, let's go now." Pein announced to the Akatsuki, all of them standing and moving towards the plane entrance, Deidara apologized countless times from Sasori. Sasori decided to forgive and forget, but saying it out loud. Tobi was whining over his fake puppet. Hidan was swearing since girls around him were giggling, staring at his abs. Akatsuki's hot. :D

**---**

**So that's the second chappie, sorry for the late update, so busy these days. Hope you enjoyed. Review, please, thanks! :D**


	3. Discovering Fangirls

**so im with chappie 3~! and thanks everybody for the reviews, i really appreciate them. oh, and my brother kinda said this is clichéd, but you just have to read on, it isn't what you expect. oh, and don't worry, no OCxAkatsuki pairings. -.- god, i hate those! haha. okay okay, on with the discaimer~!! :D**

**Disclaimer: do i look like somebody who owns hot boys?? yep, i am no Masashi Kisimoto. Akatsuki does NOT belong to me, un.**

**---**

"I am _never_ going on a plane ride _ever_ again...yeah." A pissed off blonde-haired male said with a traumatized face as he was the last to leave the plane. Akatsuki were now sitting on the airport chairs, waiting for their bags to come in.

"I can't freakin' believe this shit, but I'm with gay blondie..." Hidan said, with the same traumatized expression on his face.

"Wha... Why, senpaii? Tobi **LOVED **the ride~~!! It was full of free candy and FUUUUN~!" Tobi jumped around Deidara to prove his point.

"Yeah, why, Deidara, Hidan?" Pein asked, taking of his sunglasses and taking off his arm from Konan's waist, to her annoyance.

Deidara changed his position into a thinking one. Girls squealed fangirl-ishly at the sight of him doing that and gossiped.

"THESE CREEPY GIRLS WON'T LEAVE MY DAMN SIGHT~!!" Deidara complained loudly, then he covered his face with his hands.

"O-kayyy..." Pein said, with an annoyed look since they were getting attention and he turned to Hidan this time. "What the hell about you, then? What's your problem, ey, Hidan?" Pein asked.

"I hotly unbuttoned my fucking shirt like I always friggin' do with my shitty cloak, eh..." Hidan started. "Then suddenly i felt this wet feeling on my pants and shirt. THEN fuck, this bitch was drooling and the on beside me got a nosebleed~!! I took the blood from her nose, which freakily made her even bitchier - which was gay **( A/N: As in the happy gay, not the BL gay xD ) **and I stabbed myself in the gut with my butter knife. the drooling bitch didn't even freakin' move!! Bitchy pricks... so friggin' freaky..."

"O-kayy... That's beyond weird..." Pein said. "Why wouldn't anyone be interested in Itachi or Sasori or even Zetsu without his aloe-stuff then? They're good-looking too!"

Pein realized what he actually said after a split second and before he could take it all back, he felt a good smack from Konan.

Deidara and Hidan looked at Zetsu, Itachi and Sasori. Their faces were covered with paper bags, which was what they just realized.

Pein realized what was going on and interrogated them, after rubbing his left cheek.

"Now I know how my brother feels like..." Itachi said, taking off his paper bag. "These... these GIRLS! they were ... they were ..." Itachi shuddered.

"One of these BITCHES... they were playing with my hair, and the guy beside me got jealous." Sasori said, not taking off his paper bag. "And he kinda like ... THREATENED ME... and I wasn't intimidated, and he punched me, but I caught it just in time, and the girls around me fainted. I swear..."

_**"Bitches... everywhere... DON'T HURT ME!"**_ "Shut up." Zetsu said, his aloe stuff sticking out a little so it would scare away girls. "I don't wanna talk about it..." _**"CREEPY!!"**_

_"Woah... they must be really scary to make Zetsu's second personality traumatized like that, I wonder why..." _Pein scratched his chin.

Kakuzu couldn't care less. He already got his bag and he was still sulking with the leader.

"Let's go take our bags..." Pein scratched his head and wore back his sunglasses, placing his arm in the right place again, around Konan's waist.

---

At the hotel entrance...

"So this is the fucking hotel you were frigging whining about, eh, Leader?" Guess who...

"Yep, you like it?" Pein said proudly as he grinned.

"Nope, it's just the fucking opposite."

"Come on! Let's go~!!" Tobi said cheerfully as he dashed into the hotel lobby and zoomed in front of the receptionist counter.

The others buried their faces with their hands from humiliation.

---

After they got their rooms...

"Oh my god, my room..." Itachi looked around his room and when he finished from being awed by it, he plonked himself on the bed and sat up, cuddling a pillow, flipping through the channels. He looked outside to enjoy the breathtaking view of the beach and the sun and girls skipping around in bikinis playing netball or etcetera. It may be hard to believe, but Itachi smiled. _"This isn't such a bad idea after all! Thanks a bunch, Leader-sama!" _Itachi thought happily as he began to unpack all his clothes and checking the numbers for room service, operators, customer help and calling the others. Itachi opened the refrigerator to help himself with a can of Coke in one hand and a bag of peanuts in the other. _"Who keeps peanuts in the fridge??" _The Sharingan-user thought as he scratched his head and snicker at the view and the television screen.

Unfortunately for Kisame, his suite had paintings of salmon feasts and fishes in pet stores all over. Such a weird suite, pictures of dead fishes around, it's like it was meant to torture Kisame. "ARGHHHHHHH!!! DAMN YOU LEADER!!! THIS IS EQUIVALENT TO MANSLAUGHTER~!!!!!" Kisame screamed, clutching his head._ "Wait, I can ask Deidara to fix this..."_ Kisame went out and knocked on the door two doors to the left roughly.

A certain hot male blonde opened the door with only pants on, revealing his abs. Two female Hawaiian performers _coincidentally _saw Deidara and fainted with a nosebleed. "Goddamit! Go away, bitches, un!" Deidara attempted to slam the door, but Kisame used his foot to block it, causing a huge blow. But the anger from seeing the fish paintings overcame the pain.

"Master Kisame? What the hell do you want, hmm??" Deidara said, pissed.

"Come with me, Deidara..." Kisame said and pulled Deidara out of his room to drag him to Kisame's. Deidara used his free hand to cover his body from girls.

The artist went into Kisame's room and when Kisame finally let go of his arm, he rubbed it and looked up to see the fish paintings, his eyes had a mesmerized look."Such beautiful art! Mesmerizing, un. Although it isn't as impressive as _my _art, it's a breathtaking portrait of..."

"Manslaughter!" Kisame ended the sentence.

"Mmph." Deidara stole an annoyed glance at Kisame and looked at the painting again. He smirked. "But..." Deidara placed his hand into his pocket and made it eat some clay.

"Such beauty only should last for a second... un." Deidara smiled and after chewing on the clay, he made it into centipedes and threw it on each of the paintings.

Making the hand seal, Deidara smiled. "Because art is a BANG! KATSU!"

"BOOM~!" A loud 'boom' sound could be heard from Kisame's room by all the Akatsuki.

_"God, what did Deidara do now..."_ was on every Akatsuki member's mind except for Tobi's, Kisame's and Deidara's himself.

In a few seconds all the Akatsuki were gathered in Kisame's blowed-up room.

"Deidara, you idiot! Why the hell did you blow up the paintings?!" Sasori said in an angry voice.

"Because, Master Sasori, true beauty shouldn't last more than a second, hmm." Deidara answered matter-of-factly.

"You fool! True art is eternal beauty and -"

"Yadda yadda yadda, can you shut your fucking trap so i can get some damn rest from the bitchy plane ride?!" Hidan interrupted the two artists' conversation.

"Hidan, why the hell would you wanna sleep?" Kakuzu said in a hoarse voice because it was a while since he last used it.

"Have you gone deaf, you gay money freak?!" Hidan said, eyes blazing. "I said i just wanted to take a damn break, and you accuse me of wanting to SLEEP?! You fucking gay bastard -"

"Geez, all he asked was why you wanted to _sleep_, not not killing a person for the sake of your damn god or something." Konan rolled her eyes at the angered Jashinist.

"You fucking bitch! My god is more worthy than any of your gay gods!" Hidan screamed and started a fight with Kakuzu again, who claimed Money is true god. Deidara and Sasori started to bicker over true art.

"Hey, Konan, why did you defend Kakuzu?!?" Pein suddenly asked defensively.

Konan rolled her eyes again. "Ugh, fuck you, Pein for being such a whiny baby." Konan said. "I just defended him 'cause Hidan was being a bastard, not because of anything else, geez!"

Soon three of the Akatsuki pairings, I mean partners, were bickering and fighting with each other.

"Kisame! I liked those paintings, they're like using my Mangekyou Sharingan, yknow?" Itachi said, poking Kisame.

"THEY'RE MANSLAUGHTER!!!" Kisame wailed and flapped his fins, I mean arms.

"No, they're hell not." Itachi replied flatly.

"They're just goddamn paintings, why dyou care?" Kisame asked him.

"They're stupid art. I like stupid art, and why dyou hate it so much anyway? Just ask somebody to replace it. Was the first thing you saw the paintings? Why didn't you explore, you shark?! There's a damn telephone there and the list of numbers you could use, dammit!" Itachi was getting really defensive about the paintings and it was confusing yet at the same time pissing Kisame.

"Why are you fighting with me?! I'm _you_, goddamnit!" _**"'Cause it's fun, and I always win."**_

Hidan and Kakuzu were killing each other, Deidara and Sasori are fighting with art, Konan is trying to grope Pein to prove his love for her, Kisame's trying to slap Itachi with a fish and Zetsu's fighting with himself.

"But I'm a good boy! I don't wanna fight with anybody. *sniff*" Tobi sat on the floor and rolled around.

This is Akatsuki.

Two hotel staff were outside.

"Shall we, like... stop -" One of them said, afraid to move.

"No, for our safety, no." And slowly but carefully, they backed away and when they felt the distance is satisfying, they ran for their dear lives.

**---**

**This is chapter three, yay! xD sorry if it's so short. but i kinda like my planning. tee hee. and i promise the next chappie will be longer. you guys just wait, it'll be titled something like, "Bitches at The Beach" or something crappy like that. x3 anyway, please review! or i won't continue. HAHA! kidding. xD**


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